Tips for a healthy relationship

Relationships can be messy and many of us experience this several times over, from our first childhood romance to our most recent breakup drama, “love isn’t easy” is a life lesson we know all too well.
No matter your status — single, dating, engaged, or married — if you want to enjoy a lasting relationship, it takes work & whether it is amazingly passionate & envelops everything you do, before coming down with a massive crash or you manage to achieve that everlasting forever love, it depends on countless factors that all have a bearing on the outcome.

Below we have tried to summarise 12 of the very best tips to help you achieve long lasting happiness:

1. Try and find someone with similar values

By values we mean similarities e.g. age, education, hobbies, outlooks etc.
If it’s a long marriage you are hoping for, both partners need to commit to making it work, regardless of the challenges. As the only thing that can break up a relationship are the partners themselves.

2. Create a fulfilling 

A relationship should not be all about self-sacrifice, you should not have to sacrifice your own happiness in order to make a relationship work.
By creating a fulfilling and joyful life for yourself you will be able to inject more energy and happiness into your relationship.

3. Never take your partner for granted

It’s important to realise that everyone has needs and if those needs aren’t met it is likely that they will search elsewhere. Just because you feel it is ok to go without some of the things that you want, you should not assume this of your partner. No relationship is perfect, but don’t use this to rationalise complacency

4. Avoid a relationship where you suffocate each other

To make a success of your relationship, try to create relationships outside of the relationship, such as a hobby or interest if you are constantly in each other’s pockets the relationship will struggle to survive. A little space and your own interests is a good thing.

5. Show your appreciation of each other daily

When people feel appreciated and are recognised as special they are far happier in that relationship and will strive to make the relationship better and stronger. Just a few simple expressions of gratitude, a hug, kiss, holding hands or little statement as to how wonderful and great they are or make you feel each day yields big rewards.

6. Sex is not just about the ‘orgasm’

Don’t put too much emphasis on just chasing orgasms. Good sexual relationships require sensation, emotional intimacy, stress relief, improved health and increased emotional bonding with your partner. So there are a whole host of reasons for getting intimate with your partner other than just chasing the big O.

7. Don’t forget to keep things hot

As time goes on love can become staid and often taken for granted. The passion and excitement slowly wanes and the subtle act of seducing ones partner is lost.
To remain vibrant, sexy and engaged in your love life, try to keep an open mind and don’t be afraid to enjoy a little experimentation.

8. Remove the pressure on performance

Traditional models of sex rely on both partners obtaining orgasm through penetrative sex, with these strict expectations comes a pressure on performance that often leads to many feeling a sense of failure and frustration.

Instead try to remove the pressure and concentrate on forming intimate connections with your partner, such as taking a relaxing bath together, sensual massage, playing with some toys etc.

By expanding your definition of sex and by lowering the expectation on orgasm through penetration, the anxiety around performance diminishes and satisfaction for both partners will intensify.

9. Make sure you’re meeting your partner’s needs

A loving relationship is mutually beneficial to both parties, it’s about a meeting each other’s needs, when those needs are met and mutually satisfying then we feel good, if they are not met that’s when things start to turn sour, and then the relationships end.

10. It’s not what you argue about, its’s how you argue

Fighting whilst not inevitable can occur in even in the most solid and loving of relationships, however, it is possible to avoid unnecessary conflict and heartache by avoiding negativity in our arguments.

Try to fight fairly, try to discuss rather than argue, avoid being contemptuous, criticising, being overly defensive when challenged or withdrawn and giving the silent treatment when things aren’t going your way. Focus on resolving the issues rather than trying to pin blame.

11. Try a nicer approach

Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. Many times an issue is brought up by attacking and criticising one’s partner and is one of the main killers of a relationship.

So rather than attacking and blaming your partner over the small issues, try to let your partner know how you feel as a result of their actions.

For example rather than saying, “You never put my razor back when you’ve finished with it” you might say “I’d really appreciate it if you put my razor back in my wash bag when you’ve finished with it”

12. Take time apart

No matter how in love you are or how long you’ve been together, it’s important to take time out from your relationship.

Hang out with girlfriends until late in the evening, take a weekend trip to visit family, or just spend time ‘doing you’ for a while. Then when you go home to Yours Truly, you’ll both be recharged and ready to come together even stronger.